Sunday, 27 April 2014
What Facebook doesn't tell you.
School holidays. Love them or hate them, there is no escaping them.
Facebook is full of photographs of happy children sporting cheesy grins. Mothers post their exciting Easter activities as a badge of honour. "We laid our own eggs, decorated them and hid them all over the globe for a mammoth Easter egg hunt" - We all know those amazing mothers who are organised and motivated.
And who are so unlike me.
These holidays rushed at me and whacked me in the face before I realised they were here. Still attempting to process our half term trip to India, I was nowhere near ready to begin making the usual holiday plans. Feeling fragile and exhausted, I began each day without any motivation to make Easter nest cakes or create an egg hunt.
Of course, we can't put all this on Facebook. We have to show that we are eggcellent mothers (sorry, couldn't resist) who are over the moon about spending time with their children. We couldn't possibly confess to not actually wanting to be anywhere near them sometimes, could we?
And so our two weeks passed with three bored, arguing boys and an irritable mother. I didn't want to play with them. I didn't want to take them out anywhere. I couldn't cope with the constant bickering but had no way of stopping it. Weighted down by the guilty feeling that my children were an inconvenience, I buckled.
I'm not one of those mothers who can post how sad they are about their children returning to school this week. Honestly? I cant wait. I want this failure over and done with. I want to feel positive about my boys again.
So, Facebook, let me be honest with you. Being a mum is hard and exhausting. We can't always have picture perfect 'Disney style' families. Sometimes we cry and sometimes we shout. Does this mean we are bad, incompetent mothers? Nope, it just means we are real humans and we don't live in a virtual world.
Tonight, I'm grateful for mercies which are new every morning, for teachers who work hard and for good friends who see beyond the Facebook posts.