Monday, 2 December 2013

Lost For Words

Those who know me will know that it is rare for me to be lost for words.  And yet, at the moment, that's how I feel.

When we began a few years ago on our 'adventure of faith' I had no idea where it would take us, but back then, when we were further away from the cliff it all looked pretty easy.  If you stay back from the edge and look at the magnificent view, it doesn't look too scary.  But when you are standing on the edge of the cliff, preparing to harness up, your head starts to swim with the heights and the reality begins to hit home.  Gulping and breathless, words fail me. 

Uncertainty becomes a constant 'friend'.  Fear of the unknown is a daily battle.  Vulnerability, so often seen as a weakness, is my ally.  Each week, each day, begins with a wondering.  "What will today bring?"  "What will have happened by the end of this week?"  "Can I actually make this leap?"  Adventure isn't just for thrill-seekers.  Adventure requires taking steps forward into the fog of the unpredictable.  And I like predictable. 

And so, as I peek over the edge of the cliff, wondering what twists and turns will come in our story this week, I remind myself of the only certainty that underpins us.  In the good old words of hymnwriter, Fanny Crosby, "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine."  What sweet relief to know that I belong to Him, the writer of our story and the holder of my harness. 

This song, from Hillsong, eloquently describes those deep gulps of emotion that I can't quite put into words....

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. 
Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.

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