Friday, 15 February 2013

Are you a good enough mum?

Inspired by something I have read recently, and watching my fellow mum friends going through the age old problem of never feeling like we are doing a good enough job, I have decided to come up with some reasons why I am a good mum. Now, this may sound like I am blowing my own trumpet but it couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I haven't even got a trumpet.

From the moment we discover we are pregnant, we also make the dreadful discovery that we are doing it all wrong. Pregnancy is fraught with danger. You can't eat anything or drink anything without wondering what effect it might have on your precious little growing bundle inside. Advice is thrown at you from all directions and you are left feeling under confident in your own gut instincts.

Then your precious child is born, and the confidence levels sink even lower. The Breastfeeding Brigade (and I have NOTHING against Breastfeeding. I do, however, have issues with people who tell exhausted and often demoralised bottle feeding mothers that they are giving their baby second best) begin to whittle away at you until you are in the grip of condemnation. We can't do anything right for our babies unless we follow the exact rules of 'Someone Else'. Someone Else has a different baby and a different family situation.

And so it goes on through the rest of motherhood. We are always doing something wrong. We let them watch a film that others would frown upon. We let them play out younger than other parents might. We don't feed them the right foods. We don't go to all the after school clubs. We have to go to work when they are poorly and need us. We miss their school play. We don't play with them enough. We get angry too easily. We shout too much. The list is utterly endless and seeks to destroy the relationship we have with our children.

So, I am making a stand. No more guilty motherhood. No more guilt trips from other well meaning professionals or even mothers. We need to accept that every family is different to ours. No more judging others- it's not our job. And no more comparing of ourselves to other mums. We're different families facing different situations. Let's do what is right for our family. And let's list some of the reasons we make a good mum.

I'll start. I'm a good mum because our family laughs a lot together.

Your turn.

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