Saturday, 24 November 2012

Adventures in Faith

Setting out on our new adventure over a year ago we were full of faith for the journey ahead. It felt like day after day we saw miracles of provision. We were full of energy and enthusiasm. We were utterly convinced of God's faithfulness for the long haul ahead.

Further along into our journey, the weariness sets in. When Max was younger and we went for long walks, he used to drop to his knees and cry "I've got no power" until we either forced him to walk (mostly) or picked him up and carried him, muddy wellies and all (his preferred option).

Today, I feel like sitting down in the middle of the mud and crying "I've got no power". Sometimes on a long journey you hit the place where you feel like you just can't go on anymore. Overwhelmed by the journey still ahead, you stumble over questions that are like rocks in your path. Is God still faithful when everything seems to go wrong? How can we keep on teaching our boys to trust God when we are struggling with that very thing yet again? How are we going to keep plodding when our energy levels are so low? Should we just throw it all in? How can we have come this far and yet still not have learnt basic lessons? Have we just made one huge mistake? What are we modelling to our boys in all of this?

And yet, at that moment of dropping to the floor, our God looks at us and loves us. Yes, He is still faithful. His faithfulness and goodness do not depend on circumstances. He just is. The unknown that is ahead of us is not unknown to Him. Max's favourite name for God is "I am." And He is. He really is. So we lift our eyes above the mess of our house, above the boys who fight every time we leave the room, above the broken car which we can't afford to fix or replace, above the busy-ness which threatens to send my head spinning and above the uncertainties of the unknown future and we look to Him. Admitting that we can't do any of this on our own, we look to Him who is able to do more than we can ask or imagine. We look to Him who has never let us down or deserted us yet on our journey. We look to the One who will carry us through.

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