Tuesday, 3 July 2012

50 Shades of ..... What? (Warning... not for the fainthearted)

As our nation seems to be gripped by the "50 Shades of Grey" fever, I wondered what exactly it is about the book that seems to hold the readers attention. Is it particularly well written? Is it a great storyline? Or, let's be honest, is it just the sex?

And I'm no prude. Sex is great. The Bible is full of it, and God loves it. In fact, it was His idea in the first place. But in our sin we have twisted and distorted it to bring about pain, control, selfishness and other uglinesses.

I wonder though, in reading the latest craze, what we are modelling to our children. I have seen families and marriages torn to shreds by pornography addictions. Oh yes, we can always dress it up to be something else that is more palatable, but at the heart of it porn is porn. Porn is selfish. Porn destroys. Porn holds people captive. Porn destroys real, loving relationships. Porn addiction does not let go easily but kills everything in it's path.

I am aware that I have sons entering their pre-teen years and I want with all of my heart for them to grow up to have healthy relationships, including beautiful and passionate sex with the women they have chosen to marry. Therefore, we as parents need to model a healthy marriage in which we choose each other over anyone or anything else, including porn. As their father, Jared needs to be an example to them of 'bouncing their eyes away' from pictures of naked and half naked women that are draped across billboards. He needs to teach them to put a guard stationed on their heart, their minds and their eyes. As their mother, I need to show them the true meaning of love, passion and commitment. As their parents we need to be an example of loving one another and being faithful to one another.

I am making no judgements on the book in question. I freely admit to not having read it (and I don't want or need to read it either). However, I do think it brings to light an issue which is still taboo in our society and which we sweep under the carpet because we don't want to have to face the difficult questions it might throw at us. As mothers, in reading the book are we then telling our husbands they can also look at pornographic pictures of other women on the internet? Are we modelling to our children a lifestyle of pleasure first, commitment second? Are we teaching our children to stay faithful in their hearts, minds and bodies to the person they have committed themselves and given themselves to?

It starts now. Whatever age our children are, we need to teach them about healthy, committed relationships. We need to model a different way to the one they see all around them. It's not an easy path, but I am absolutely convinced that by daring to be different in this our children will stand a chance in their futures.

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