Thursday, 8 March 2012

The Story So Far...


I am aware that some people who read my blog do not have the same beliefs as me. I am also aware that by writing my (sometimes opinionated) beliefs on this blog these people may view me differently. I hope, however, that those who know me will realise that despite my rantings and ravings, I am simply a normal wife, mummy, woman, daughter, sister and friend attempting to live out my beliefs in a world that often thinks the opposite. I still laugh (but not at the rude mealtime jokes) and I still have fun.... If you take offence to anything written in this post, I am truly sorry, but I will not be able to alter the things I see as absolute truth (and I will still be your friend, if you'll be mine!!).

So, with all that said, I am now going to tell you a story.

Almost three years ago, my husband had a dream. I am married to a dreamer and so I have to admit to not taking alot of notice. In the 13 years we have been married he has wanted to be a Preacher (aka Benny Hinn style, for those of you in the know), an A&E consultant, a teacher, a paramedic, a hotel consultant, set up his own soft play business and many many more. So, as you can see I was not so impressed. However, as the year went on this dream became more and more 'urgent' in his mind. The longing to be outside and make it accessible for others became more than a dream. Was this really right? How would the 'breadwinner' of the family be able to give everything up to follow this dream? Was it the right path for us or was it just another good idea?

When he was asking God all these questions, he happened to go to a conference with lots of other christians. One morning a man he did not know, walked up to him and said these words:

"I was praying this morning and God showed me that there would be someone standing where you are, with a green t shirt on." (Jared was wearing a green t shirt). "God says to tell you that what you have on your heart to do is the right thing, and you should go for it."

Well, it wasn't quite writing in the sky but it was good enough for us! And so, go for it we have. There have, of course, been ups and downs and I would not be honest if I did not tell you that there have been plenty of times when I have wondered if we are doing the right thing or not. Should we really be taking our family on this adventure with us or do they just need security? But each time I have wobbled, I have been reminded that my security is not in money or in Jared's job, but in my God. We are on this journey of trust as a whole family, and as we as parents trust our God, then our boys also see there is no better way.

This morning, I looked back in my prayer journal to see what was on my mind a year ago. Most people pray out loud, but I prefer to write down my prayers as though I am writing a letter to God. It's just the way I do it. Anyway, exactly one year ago today, in confusion and desperation, I wrote these words:

"Please make a way for Jared to give up his job so he can really focus more on the business. We totally trust you and trust your ways which are so much higher than ours. Guide us to the right people and places. Walk this road with us, for without you we are nothing."

We had no idea how to make this thing work. Jared couldn't just give up his job, that would not be wise. So, we put the situation into the hands of the One who already knew.

Today, a year later, we are 3 weeks away from Jared giving up his full time job. The timing has been more than perfect. His boss has been encouraging, helpful and positive and has even created a part time role for Jared to do so that he can continue to have a steady (albeit dramatically decreased!) income. He has another day's work each week with Rock UK, an outdoor adventure company and he has a day's work each week teaching Forest School. I am astounded at the way all of this has fit together so perfectly and when I wobble and fear, I am brought back to this truth. My God is faithful. He provides for us. He knows the unknown and he has a plan. His plan is so much better than ours. Even though times are sometimes hard, dark and we can't see the road ahead, he is so good. Despite the fact that he is awesome, mighty, powerful and the creator of the whole universe, he listens to us and even answers us. Compared to his greatness, our needs and wants sometimes seems trivial and yet he still gives us such good things.

Our lives as we have known them for so long are about to change and, whilst it's scary and nerve-wracking sometimes, being on an adventure with God is the only place I want to be right now.

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