Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Mealtime Moments (warning - not for the delicate)

Apart from the usual "lean over the table", "use your knife and fork", "sit on your chair properly", "that's enough ketchup, that's enough ketchup, THAT'S ENOUGH KETCHUP!" and "did you actually wash your hands?" comments over mealtimes, we now have a new difficulty to contend with.

If you have small boys, you will know that once they start to giggle about something rude, they find it extremely difficult to stop. It doesn't matter what I say, it can easily be transformed into something to giggle about. If they are like my boys, they will then go on and and on and on and on and on about that silly little thing. At that point, it isn't particularly funny anymore (if it ever was in the first place) and I begin to battle with their silliness. It's hard to put your finger on quite why this is unacceptable, but if you are a mum of boys aged between 5 and 12 (or perhaps older, but if that is the case I really don't wish to know) you will know what I am talking about.

Not only do I have to now watch my every word and action, but I have discovered that my boys have created a new code. Every body part (or at least all the rude and disgusting ones) have been assigned a fruit. For example pineapple is mouth, grapes are boys bits and coconut shells are..., well, use your imagination. So now I have to be careful even when I am talking about food because if I offer them guacamole on their tortilla, they will collapse under the table sniggering because in their code I will be asking them if they want bogeys with their meal.

After the meal, they show their appreciation Arabic style by belching as loud as they possibly can and applauding each other's efforts. If you can 'talk-burp', apparently you are highly skilled. Tonight one of my boys (who shall remain nameless), lay on the floor with his legs in the air, wafting his 'wind' (to put it politely) in everyone else's direction so they could appreciate the smell.

Why oh why oh why? Is it just my house that these awful atrocities occur? I sometimes wonder if they will ever learn manners. If they went to someone else's house would they act the same way? I don't understand why their funny things are so funny and I certainly can't comprehend why they have to spoil every meal (in my mind, in their minds the meal is probably enhanced with their 'humour').

And we wonder why families don't eat together anymore. I certainly know why and sometimes I am extremely tempted to give up and leave them in their mealtime pigsty. Tonight though, I will be eating with my husband when the boys are finally in bed. And he had better have some good manners.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh no! My boys are 4 and 5, so I fear these days are just around the corner.

I suppose we should be glad they get it out of their system while at home, and hope we have managed to impress enough manners on them that they behave in public!