Friday, 2 December 2011

Friday Failures

Today has been one of those 'bad mother' days again. We all have them, sometimes more often than we would like! Here are some of my failures to make you giggle, sympathise or both....

1. I tried to be a good mother, I really did, and made Max an Egyptian Costume for his Egyptian Day today. Unfortunately, my excitement probably pushed him into wearing more than he would have liked, and he ended up crying because he thought he looked like a girl (it was the heavy eyeliner that did it). When he refused to get out of the car and into school, I bribed him with sweets.

2. On the first very cold day of the winter, Max (underneath the Egyptian costume, which was just a sheet) was wearing shorts and t shirt. I forgot to give him a hat or gloves. Jonah did not have his coat done up, and I don't even know what kind of coat / hat / glove combination Toby might have been wearing because I didn't see him leave for school. (I was too busy putting eyeliner on Max).

3. When I collected Jonah from Nursery, we came home and I strongly encouraged him to watch the television so I could sit down. Once he was bored of the television, he asked me of he could play Angry Birds on my phone (should a 4 year old even know that you can play Angry Birds on a phone?).
Jonah: (Polite voice) Can I play Angry Birds on your phone?
Me: (Heavy sigh, knowing that I am going to give in...) No, not today.
Jonah: (Rude voice, bordering on the edge of a tantrum, knowing that one more will push me over the brink of giving in) Can I play Angry Birds on your phone?
Me: (Even heavier sigh, knowing I have given in) Yes, ok.
I didn't even attempt a battle.

4. After playing Angry Birds for longer than he should have been, I found a cardboard box and attempted to drag myself into good mother mode by suggesting that he cut it up and make something with it. He was enamoured with that idea, but not with the fact that while he was trying to make Buzz Lightyear from a cardboard box, I was sitting in the other room checking facebook.

5. The Buzz Lightyear making went wrong and he asked me to help him. When I didn't help him straight away, he lay on the floor kicking his legs and screaming at me. Instead of calmly putting down the computer and helping him with Buzz's wings, I lay on the floor next to him and pretended to have a tantrum. It didn't help. He screamed louder, kicked harder and rolled further away from me.

6. To distract us both from eventual murder, I suggested we feed the chickens. Getting on our wellies ( Actually, I wore my wellies and he refused to wear his. Another battle I could not bring myself to fight), we tramped down to the end of the garden. Feeding the chickens could have been a lovely educational moment. It was, however, far too cold to attempt anything educational so we threw the food in and then I enticed him back indoors with the promise of watching Curious George.

7. I am about to collect Max from school. He will be walking home in shorts and a t shirt, on the coldest day of the winter so far.

Now, if that's not a list of bad mother crimes, I don't know what is!

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