Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Mummy Dates

As you might have realised by now, we have no girls in our house other than me. How, then, will my boys learn to become gentlemen if they have no-one to practice on? How will they know that girls don't actually like to do armpit farts (well, some do) or want to play wrestling (again, some do)? Who will teach them those good old fashioned gentlemanly manners that are so prized and make a girl feel so special? I know that these days with the rise and success of feminism (all you feminists out there, please don't jump down my throat, I know it probably isn't as successful as you'd like it to be but it has certainly succeeded in squashing down young men) gentlemanly manners are sometimes scoffed at, but I also know that secretly even if not in public, most girls like to have a door opened for them. So, with no girls in the house other than me, I am the one to be practiced on.

With this in mind, we decided to arrange for the boys to take me out on a 'date'. Today was Max's first date with me. Jared spent a bit of time with him beforehand, explaining how to treat a lady and what the etiquette should be. Having been told that the boy should always do the asking, he crept into the kitchen at lunchtime and handed me an invitation. "To Mum, Plees will you come on a deat with me. Mum, thanks for doing all your jobs." Of course, I replied yes.

He decided to take me to KFC (a truly romantic destination - I did not tell him that this would NOT be the place to take future young ladies). He told me that he wanted me to wear a dress, and that he would also wear his best clothes. Just before we left, I changed into a dress and he changed into his Man Utd t-shirt! As we were leaving, he shyly presented me with a box of chocolates and a smile and off we went!

On the drive, my usually rather self-centred little boy (as most 7 year old boys are) began to ask me questions. "What is your favourite thing to wear?" "How old were you when you learnt to ride a bike?" "When did you learn to walk?" I could see Jared's training had certainly been taken on board. Arriving at our destination, he opened the door for me and asked me what I wanted to eat. He ordered the food, paid for it, carried the tray to the (dirty, but he didn't notice) table, set it down and pulled out my chair for me. I was impressed.

Finishing our meal, he removed and emptied the tray, pulled out my chair again and led me to the car (which, of course, I had to drive). I was very impressed with his 'ladies first' attitude and felt very special and looked after.

It had all gone swimmingly, until on our drive home he asked me if I wanted to play burp tennis.
"Burp tennis isn't really a game you ask ladies to play with you, Max. Ladies don't really like burp tennis."
"Well, our friend does, in fact, she taught it to me." (Friend, you know who you are!)
I did not really have an answer for this, so I changed tack.
"Well, I don't and I can't burp like you can."
Unfortunately this also backfired on me as he proceeded to give me a demonstration on how to burp.

Finally, we arrived home. He got out of the car before me and came round to my side to open the door. As soon as he'd done that, he ran off to play football with the others.

A successful first date, I feel. Next up is Toby. Part of our training is to teach our boys how to respect women. Despite the modern trend for metrosexual men, we want ours to be real men who love women the way they are supposed to be loved and cherished. Gentleman are hard to find in today's world. I married one. I want my daughters in law to marry one too.

1 comment:

Jo said...

Adorable! You must be one very proud mummy!